At 15, I stood in a dim office after a halftime performance, expecting praise. Instead, I was told I needed to lose weight to stay on the majorette team. In that moment, something shifted, I began to believe my worth was tied to the size of my body. Keep reading to discover how I unlearned it.
That day in the majorette director’s office, I walked into that office proud. I walked out believing my body was the problem. And what hurt wasn’t just the comment. It was the belief that came with it. Maybe I wasn’t enough. Maybe performing my best wasn’t enough. Maybe belonging had to be earned by becoming smaller.
For years I tried to solve the problem – Eat Less, Workout more, take up less space.
But here’s what I know now as an adult that I didn’t know at 15
My body was never the problem. Yours isn’t either. The problem was the lie. The lie that our worth depends on shrinking. That discipline means deprivation. That approval comes after we make ourselves smaller.
You can shrink your body and still feel invisible. You can hit a number on the scale and still feel unworthy.
The issue was never size. It was belief. Belief of not being worthy.
So, I stopped.
Not just twirling but fully expressing myself in the way I once did so freely.
Fast forward 50+ years.
Life happened. Kids, responsibilities, career, all the things that women, especially women like us, pour themselves into. And somewhere along the way, I started reclaiming pieces of myself. Slowly at first, then with more intention.
And then came the opportunity that felt almost surreal:
The Kentucky Derby Festival Pegasus Parade.
A parade I had watched. A tradition. A big deal.
And somehow… I found myself practicing to be in it!!!
With a baton.
Twirling.
Let me just say this clearly:
This was never about the baton.
This was about rewriting a story.
At 15, I was told my body wasn’t good enough to do the thing I loved.
At 50+, I’m showing up anyway. This time with a stronger body, a clearer mind, and a whole lot less tolerance for outdated nonsense.
And here’s the part that matters most:
I didn’t lose weight to earn my place back.
I built strength.
I prioritized my health.
I learned how to fuel my body instead of fight it.
I became someone who moves with confidence, not punishment.
That’s a very different story.
I now know that nothing was ever wrong with me.
Not at 15.
Not now.
The difference is - I finally believe that.
This full circle moment isn’t about proving anyone wrong.
It was about coming home to myself.
For those in the Kentuckiana area, I invite you to come to the parade this Sunday. If you have ever had a coach, parent, relative or stranger tell you that you aren’t good enough. Remember my story.
And to me - the girl who loved to twirl without overthinking it.
To the woman who now understands that health isn’t about shrinking, it’s about showing up strong, energized, and unapologetically alive.
And if you’re reading this thinking, “Well, that’s nice… but I could never…”
Let me gently challenge that.
What’s your version of the baton?
What did you walk away from because someone made you feel like you weren’t enough?
Because I promise you, there’s no expiration date on reclaiming it.
Not at 40.
Not at 50.
Not at 70.
This is what we’re really doing here.
We’re not chasing smaller bodies.
We’re building stronger lives.
And sometimes you get a moment that reminds you exactly who you were before the world told you to be less.
And you get to become her again - only this time, stronger.
